I know him through burnt brown stains
on off-white films of sepia tinted photographs,
vicariously through his son, now my father.
now when I sit to read, with my legs crossed,
the right one over the left, toes curled outward,
I wonder if I've taken after him; how his fingers
must've divided the pages of his books after
wetting its corners. maybe he, in his stolid
indifference, could answer my questions —
why do we not get to choose when we arrive
but when we leave? can you really miss
somebody who always resides in your mind?
what is it like to be present? how can I be sure
of it? would he know though, if I asked him, if
our timing was bad? was I plain unlucky to not
have had a chance to see him? or did he have
to leave only so he could arrive again but
this time, with me?